As a kid from a small town, I grew up listening to country music. Country in the early 90′s was kind of the best; it was before Shania Twain waltzed in with her leopard print hooded jumpsuit and pop music-ed up the place (no disrespect to Shania intended, of course). Country radio statoins played Garth Brooks, Vince Gill, Lorrie Morgan, Randy Travis (a man my grandpa once described as singing “like a cow”), and Reba. Oh, so much Reba. Before she was a sitcom star, before she was a mascot for Fritos, she recorded a duet that I’ve always remembered fondly. After I rewatched/relistened to it, I can confirm that this is indisputably the best song ever recorded by two women who love the same man (even better than The Boy is Mine), and it is definitely the best music video ever made. I’m completely serious. Watch and see.
“I’ve known about you for awhile now/when he leaves me he wears a smile now,” are the first words out of Reba’s mouth. Reba has a more reasoned approach than I would to cheating; I would cut off his testicles first, ask questions later. Not Reba! Well, okay, actually later she does something worse, but we aren’t there yet! Anyway, this is a duet between Reba and The Woman Who’s Sleeping With Reba’s Man. As if any woman would even dare attempt such a thing.
Reba wears a number of what can only be described as “costumes” in this video. I never realized how much this video informed my sense of style, but unfortunately 2nd grade me didn’t really get the campy, wink-wink value of this video. I just liked that Linda Davis (i.e., the one who isn’t Reba) looked like a human Barbie and Reba wore this insane pink headband thing that matched her robe. You are so glamorous while you get ready, Reba! This is the douche they’re both sleeping with:
You can do better, Reba.
Reba tries to spy on her husband and Human Barbie, who looks perfectly coiffed as always.
But she’ll never be as stylish as Reba, who only does her spy work while dressed as Lawrence of Arabia:
GIRL, WHAT IS THAT HEADPIECE? HOW ARE YOU SUPPOSED TO BE INCOGNITO IN HEAD-TO-TOE WHITE? Yes, you look beautiful, but let’s just think about whether or not that outfit is appropriate.
“Is he deceiving me, or aaaawwwwm I deceiving myself?” Reba asks warblingly.
After being detected, she slinks out as if being pulled offstage by a hook (at the 2:20 mark), ostensibly to ride a camel across a desert somewhere.
After a heartfelt exchange-in-song (wherein Reba asks, “Shouldn’t I lose my temper?” and Human Barbie asks, “Shouldn’t I be ashamed?”) Reba gets serious. Real serious. It might seem like she’s just watching her husband and his not-so-secret lover while wearing the sassiest pantsuit and biggest collar known to man, but actually, right after this smirk…
THE BOAT EXPLODES. YOU GUYS. REBA PLANTED A BOMB. SHE KILLED THEM. To answer your earlier question, Reba, I’m pretty sure you did lose your temper. That’s what it’s called when you rig a boat with explosives and kill two people.
But not to worry! The video ends on a really weird meta-moment, with director Rob Reiner appearing to show Reba how great the explosion looked. Oh. So it was all just a video. No one really died. Reba is not a crazy vindictive bitch. We can all rest easy…
OR CAN WE?????
