Sirius XMU’s been playing the hell out of this, and I’m okay with that because I love it.
Her voice is so lovely! Is she coming to your city? Please go see her and report back to me.
Sirius XMU’s been playing the hell out of this, and I’m okay with that because I love it.
One of my favorite musicians is also one of the prettiest women in the world, even (especially?) when she’s a giant.
This video combines my love of Wild Flag with my fear of full-body costumes. I’m scared and excited, ALL AT THE SAME TIME!
I heard an interview with Jay-Z on NPR a while ago (an aside: there’s a sentence that sums up everything you’ll ever need to know about me. Love listening to Jay-Z, but he’d better be on Fresh Air!) where he offered up his explanation for why so much crotch-grabbing happens in hip-hop. Basically, he said that performers are nervous, and they often go from recording their album to playing a giant festival without ever learning how to be in front of crowds. Since they don’t know what to do on stage or where to put their hands, they instinctively reach to cover themselves. They feel, in a word, naked.
This is all just to say that I don’t think Rihanna’s ever been nervous about anything a day in her life. I imagine she’s stoned out of her gourd at all times. When I told Alex about Rihanna’s semi-recent hospitalization for exhaustion, he said, “What, did she walk up a flight of stairs?” So, while the Youtube comment typo “Why is she grabbing her crutch all the time?” might be hilariously apropo, I think we can all assume that Rihanna is not covering up her insecurity with false bravado. She’s just doin’ Rihanna.
Do you remember when you joined the Navy? You were so young, with your baseball cap and your weird leather jacket. Vince Gill kept staring at you longingly. Do you remember that? And he yelled at you, like, all the time. When you tried to climb that wall in your flattering sweatpants, when he made you do pushups in the mud, when he made you run up steps. Just constant yelling. But then, do you remember how it turns out you guys were secretly in love? Or I guess you were, because he snuck up behind you and wiped mud off your cheek? That’s what love is, probably. Making someone in the Navy do pushups in the mud and then wiping the mud off their cheek. Reba remembers.
This is another video where Reba shows off her mad acting skills. That scene where she’s frightened in “combat”? Golden. Also, Vince Gill (another staple of my youth) has a voice like melted peanut butter. The best part is when they sing to each other through a window.
No, Reba, it’s not life that’s getting in the way. It’s that window.
This song comes on all the time on The Bridge, the soft rock Sirius station I somehow find myself listening to far too often. Somehow, Janis Ian makes a song about being an awkward teenager sound like the most tragic thing in the world. Which is, of course, why I like her. This song sounds so sad that I assumed it had to be about heartbreak; nope, it’s about acne, hating homecoming queens, and staying home on Friday nights. These are just some of lyrics:
I learned the truth at seventeen
That love was meant for beauty queens
And high school girls with clear skinned smiles
Who married young and then retired
The valentines I never knew
The Friday night charades of youth
Were spent on one more beautiful
At seventeen I learned the truth.
Fun fact: according to Wikipedia, “on Valentine’s Day 1977, Ian received 461 Valentine cards, having indicated in the lyrics to ‘At Seventeen’ that she never received any as a teenager.” Homecoming queens, have you ever won a Grammy? Janis Ian has. Take that.
This is one of those songs that I can’t help but listen to whenever it’s on the radio. It’s unnatural how much I love this song about an unhappy marriage. I just can’t resist upbeat sad songs! Freda Payne is so beautiful in this performance, but she is a strange lip syncer. She alternates between looking bored and pouting. But that hair! Also worth noting: the clothing worn by EVERYONE. Suspenders!
Do you remember when iTunes featured celebrity playlists? Maybe they still do this. I don’t know. But back in 2005, you could listen to and buy, for example, Jennifer Garner’s favorite workout songs. When the movie Elizabethtown came out, iTunes featured Kirsten Dunst’s playlist. For some reason, I listened to all of her song choices. I don’t know why; maybe Kirsten Dunst is one of my role models and I never even knew. Regardless, she listed the song Here’s Where the Story Ends by the Sundays and wrote that it “inspired and comforted” her. I used to walk around campus in the Fall of 2005, listening to this song on my relatively new pink iPod Mini, and think to myself, “I feel so comforted.” This song is very 90s, but I like it a lot. It sounds like Fall to me, and it still makes me think of walking across the quad in front of my dorm, the brown and orange leaves crunching under my ratty Chuck Taylors. Also it makes me think of Kirsten Dunst.
As a kid from a small town, I grew up listening to country music. Country in the early 90’s was kind of the best; it was before Shania Twain waltzed in with her leopard print hooded jumpsuit and pop music-ed up the place (no disrespect to Shania intended, of course). Country radio statoins played Garth Brooks, Vince Gill, Lorrie Morgan, Randy Travis (a man my grandpa once described as singing “like a cow”), and Reba. Oh, so much Reba. Before she was a sitcom star, before she was a mascot for Fritos, she recorded a duet that I’ve always remembered fondly. After I rewatched/relistened to it, I can confirm that this is indisputably the best song ever recorded by two women who love the same man (even better than The Boy is Mine), and it is definitely the best music video ever made. I’m completely serious. Watch and see.
“I’ve known about you for awhile now/when he leaves me he wears a smile now,” are the first words out of Reba’s mouth. Reba has a more reasoned approach than I would to cheating; I would cut off his testicles first, ask questions later. Not Reba! Well, okay, actually later she does something worse, but we aren’t there yet! Anyway, this is a duet between Reba and The Woman Who’s Sleeping With Reba’s Man. As if any woman would even dare attempt such a thing.
Reba wears a number of what can only be described as “costumes” in this video. I never realized how much this video informed my sense of style, but unfortunately 2nd grade me didn’t really get the campy, wink-wink value of this video. I just liked that Linda Davis (i.e., the one who isn’t Reba) looked like a human Barbie and Reba wore this insane pink headband thing that matched her robe. You are so glamorous while you get ready, Reba! This is the douche they’re both sleeping with:
You can do better, Reba.
Reba tries to spy on her husband and Human Barbie, who looks perfectly coiffed as always.
But she’ll never be as stylish as Reba, who only does her spy work while dressed as Lawrence of Arabia:
GIRL, WHAT IS THAT HEADPIECE? HOW ARE YOU SUPPOSED TO BE INCOGNITO IN HEAD-TO-TOE WHITE? Yes, you look beautiful, but let’s just think about whether or not that outfit is appropriate.
“Is he deceiving me, or aaaawwwwm I deceiving myself?” Reba asks warblingly.
After being detected, she slinks out as if being pulled offstage by a hook (at the 2:20 mark), ostensibly to ride a camel across a desert somewhere.
After a heartfelt exchange-in-song (wherein Reba asks, “Shouldn’t I lose my temper?” and Human Barbie asks, “Shouldn’t I be ashamed?”) Reba gets serious. Real serious. It might seem like she’s just watching her husband and his not-so-secret lover while wearing the sassiest pantsuit and biggest collar known to man, but actually, right after this smirk…
THE BOAT EXPLODES. YOU GUYS. REBA PLANTED A BOMB. SHE KILLED THEM. To answer your earlier question, Reba, I’m pretty sure you did lose your temper. That’s what it’s called when you rig a boat with explosives and kill two people.
But not to worry! The video ends on a really weird meta-moment, with director Rob Reiner appearing to show Reba how great the explosion looked. Oh. So it was all just a video. No one really died. Reba is not a crazy vindictive bitch. We can all rest easy…
OR CAN WE?????
I think of Welcome to Ladyville as a safe space where I can admit my deepest, darkest secrets. You know, like the time I killed that man in Reno just to watch him die. I don’t believe in “guilty” pleasures and I rarely feel ashamed for liking anything “uncool.” I seriously don’t have time in my life for anyone who thinks they’re too good for anything or who looks down on others’ enthusiasm for nerdy, silly, or unstylish things. You can try to make me feel bad for liking/LOVING Hall and Oates, Lady Gaga, or the Kardashians, but sorry, I have no shame. And yet…I do feel kind of weird about the fact that I have been listening to Sara Bareilles while packing.
This is not really the type of music I normally listen to. While I adore pop music, I typically stick to things that are a little bit dancier and not so singer-songwriter-y. I stumbled across this video because it was directed by Jonah Hill. Had a crush on him before he lost weight, have a crush on him now. This should not surprise you.
This song is just…bouncy! I’m kind of helpless in the face of its power, since there are finger snaps and sassy backup vocals, two song elements I absolutely cannot resist. Plus, Sara Bareilles is very pretty in a nonthreatening way. She’s the type of girl your guys friends always have crushes on without realizing she’s way out of their league.
So then I fell down the Sara Bareilles wormhole and found THIS video, featuring (among others) Ben Folds, aka one of my all-time biggest high school crushes.
You guys, I am like two steps away from listening to Natasha Bedingfield right now. Who am I? Either way, I am honestly disturbed by the thoughts I had about Adam Levine while watching this. He’s not so terrible facewise. Also, Josh Groban looks like a puppy with a history of abuse, which, FYI, is MY TYPE.
You won me over, Sara Bareilles. I’ll try to have some Joni Mitchell or Stevie Nicks on the blog soon, but no promises. I might just keep listening to this.