Tag Archives: muppets

Let’s Look at Pretty Clothes

9 Dec

By now, you’ve all seen The Muppets, right? If not, get off of your computer, leave your apartment/house, and get to a movie theatre. It’s funny, the songs are great, and Amy Adams is really sweet. In a lot of ways, she reminded me of Bernadette Peters in The Jerk. She was able to be cute and funny and a little naive without coming off as just dumb or ditzy. Amy Adams: what can’t she do? Also, SPOILER ALERT, she wears some amazing clothes. I’m pretty sure the first outfit she wore in the film took my breath away. What I would do for that yellow skirt!

You can see more of her clothes here.

Christmas Jam: John Denver and the Muppets, 12 Days of Christmas

1 Dec

Because obviously we’re all talking about the Muppets right now.

Happy Halloween

31 Oct

It should come as no surprise to you that I’m opposed to sexy Halloween costumes. For myself, that is. Of course, me saying that is kind of like saying, “I would never go on a date with Ryan Gosling!” Like, he’s not asking, and “sexy” isn’t a look I can pull off. Looks I can pull off include: different, weird, eccentric, quirky, and occasionally cute. Seeing as “Eccentric Nurse” isn’t going to be sold at the costume shops any time soon, I typically try to just do me and go as something weird.
I tried to think of a powerful, glamorous woman I could dress up as, but my problem is that I don’t look like anyone. I’d make a thoroughly unconvincing Liza, Cher, or Dolly. My attempt to dress up as Tootsie met with nothing but failure and my family telling me that I looked like Little Orphan Annie. Then H brought up a suggestion I’d made months ago: Kermit the Frog and Miss Piggy. Of course. Who is more glamorous, powerful, assertive and beautiful than Miss Piggy? No one! Or at least no pig. I figured all I’d need was a pig nose and a blonde wig and I was set.
Except for one thing. Do you guys know how hard it is to find a pig nose at the costume shop? It’s hard. It all goes back to the sexy costume thing: women don’t want to be pigs. Pigs aren’t sexy and they aren’t really cute. Women want to be cats, leopards, bunnies, or even giraffes, but they don’t want to be pigs. When I finally did find a pig nose/ears/tail combo, the checkout guy said, “You’re gonna be a piiiig,” in a voice that sounded simultaneously disappointed, surprised, and confused. Listen, if I had time to make Britta Perry’s squirrel costume, that’s what I would’ve worn, okay?

In the past ten or so years, I’ve had some weird Halloween costumes. The last two times I’ve dressed up I’ve been a dinosaur.

In high school, I was Enid Coleslaw from Ghost World. Only one person recognized me. It was a tough crowd. I don’t have a picture of my costume, but I wore this exact shirt that I found in a stroke of Goodwill fate.

And when I was 16 I dressed up like…this.

None of those costumes prepared me for the intense rush I got from dressing up as someone inherently known for her femininity. I mean, her first name is Miss.
I got to wear fake eyelashes, the most eyeliner I’ve ever worn (and I already wear a lot of eyeliner), tons of makeup, hot pink, and a blonde wig. Oh yeah, and a pig snout that made it a little difficult to breathe.

I already miss those long, blonde, flowing, plastic locks. Halloween is the best holiday. If I could wear a wig and false eyelashes everyday of my life, believe me, I would.

So maybe it’s not a sexy costume, but it’s halfway there. I mean, except for the pig nose. And the fact that it’s physically impossible for me to have cleavage. And also I wore a coat the whole night because it was cold. Well, okay, so maybe it’s not sexy, but at least it was pretty glamorous, and that’s a real step up for me.

Happy Weekend!

16 Sep

True story: I once had a t-shirt with this picture on it. I thought I looked so cool. So cool, in fact, that I wore it for my driver’s license picture. Yes, guys, I was a pretty awesome 16 year old.

Happy Weekend!

9 Sep

Happy Weekend!

2 Sep

Lydia the Queen of Tattoo

29 Aug

While listening to All Songs Considered’s episode on Songs That Make You Feel Good, I was reminded of Lydia the Tattooed Lady. No offense to Groucho, but his version isn’t the one that makes me smile. That honor is reserved for none other than Kermit the Frog. Lexie and I watched a lot of the Muppet Show as kids, and this is one song I remember playing often. Lydia’s dancing is pretty suggestive for a puppet, right? Now there’s an inspirational lady.

Seriously, though, give that All Songs Considered episode a listen. Unless you hate feeling good, in which case I think you’re reading the wrong blog anyway.

Happy Weekend!

26 Aug

I hope you’re all staying safe and keepin’ it cool this weekend. Maybe go see Our Idiot Brother. You’ll laugh, I promise! Maybe don’t eat too much popcorn because your boyfriend got a great Groupon deal on a movie ticket/popcorn/soda combo. Not that I made that mistake or anything.

Enjoy this wonderful clip of the lovely Joan Rivers and Miss Piggy from one of my favorite movies ever, The Muppets Take Manhattan. Maybe watch THIS movie this weekend. But I’m serious about not eating too much popcorn. Don’t do it!

The Hardest Choice to Make

19 Aug

This is the decision that keeps me awake at night. Kermit the Frog or Charles Grodin? Surely I can’t be the only lady unable to choose. Charles Grodin is yet another one of my Not-So-Secret Celebrity Crushes, and that’s 50% because of The Great Muppet Caper and 50% because of The Heartbreak Kid. As it turns out, the Ben Stiller/Malin Ackerman vehicle was not the original Heartbreak Kid; the 1972 version, directed by Elaine May and starring Grodin and Cybil Shepard, is a piece of 70s cinema on par with the work of Bob Rafelson. And I don’t throw around Rafelson’s name lightly.

Something to Think About

26 Jul

We once lived in time when a sexy Muppet was used to sell baked potato chips.