Tag Archives: relationships

This Movie Is The Best Movie: While You Were Sleeping

19 Mar

It’s hard to say what makes the difference between a good romantic comedy and a bad one. The believability of the situation has little to do with it; I love a ridiculous high-concept, and While You Were Sleeping definitely has one. It doesn’t really take creativity–after all, a rom-com always has to be kind of the same story. I think the two things that are most necessary are a) chemistry between the two leads and b) a lead character who wants something besides love. I do not want to watch a character desperately fling her/himself at potential romantic victims for an hour and a half. That’s what my Facebook newsfeed is for. What I need from a romantic comedy is a yearning for something; a family, a baby, a job, a passion, something. While You Were Sleeping definitely has that.

It has a lot more, too. Like Bill Pullman. Let’s get to it!

Anyone who’s ever taken a creative writing course knows that adage, “Show, Don’t Tell.” Well, this movie shows us, repeatedly, just how lonely Sandra Bullock is. She lives alone. She’s working on Christmas in the token booth for the Chicago train station. She has a cat. She talks to her cat. No friends are ever mentioned. Oh, and both of her parents are dead. Such a lonely girl, our Sandy. The one ray of hairy sunshine in her life is Peter Gallagher’s Eyebrows.

She sees him everyday as he goes to work, but they never talk. UNTIL! Peter Gallagher’s Eyebrows get pushed onto the tracks by some hoodlums who then run away and are never heard from again. Sandra Bullock immediately springs into action and jumps onto the track.

All the while, a train is speeding towards them while deceptively lighthearted music plays and Sandra Bullock says things like, “Please wake up! There’s a train coming toward us! It’s going very fast!” Like, duh, Sandra Bullock, and also move. Finally she rolls both herself and Peter Gallagher’s Eyebrows to safety, and that’s where her trouble actually begins.

She goes to visit Peter Gallagher’s Eyebrows in the hospital, and through a mix up that could be easily avoided, people start thinking she’s the fiancee. Although she could correct them at any time, she doesn’t, because the 1st rule of Romantic Comedy Club is Never Tell The Truth (Even When It Would Be Very Simple). She ingratiates herself with his family, and no one suspects a thing. Until Peter Gallagher’s Eyebrows’ brother Bill Pullman bursts onto the scene, lookin’ like a million bucks in his reversible denim/khaki jacket and his all flannel, all the time shirt collection.

He wears the most unflattering jeans. That jacket is silly (just buy two jackets, Bill. Seriously). He’s old enough to be, if not my dad, at least significantly older than me. And yet I really do not think I’ve ever seen a more attractive romantic lead, ever. Do you need another picture?

Anyway, Bill Pullman and The Jacket are the only ones who suspect something might be up. This is Bill Pullman’s suspicious face:

But you know it’s only a matter of time before he falls in love with Sandra Bullock. Who wouldn’t? America’s Sweetheart, that one. And of course Sandra Bullock falls in love with him. He wants to start a chair making business (OF COURSE HE DOES), he’s wearing the hell out of those jeans, and he growls, like, 95% of his lines. They fall over in the snow!

And then they have what is my FAVORITE romantic comedy moment. It’s the thing where two characters are joking around but then ALL OF A SUDDEN they end up with their faces just an inch apart! And then some drunk guy or inappropriate old man or precocious child says something and they break apart, but it’s too late. They already Had A Moment.

It’s called tension, you guys.
But of course their love can never be, because Sandra Bullock is fake engaged to Peter Gallagher’s Eyebrows. In itself that doesn’t make much sense, but it all comes back to Sandra’s desire. That is, her desire for a family. Because Bill Pullman/Petey’s family has already become her family, and she doesn’t want to give that up, even if it means fraudulently marrying some dude who was just in a coma.
Some other stuff happens and blah, blah, blah. The point is things work out with a ring being tossed into a toll booth and oh my God I think I just had a heart attack. Why are we not still talking about how attractive Bill Pullman was? I can’t be the only one who thinks so, right? I get it, Lost Highway was the creepiest movie any of us have ever seen, but damn if he didn’t pay a mean jazz sax.

Yes, Bill Pullman, I WILL marry you.

And I’d say the same about you, Bill.
You can watch the whole thing on Youtube.
It’s a romantic comedy where no one poops on anything or has sex with an animal. Simpler times. Just a guy in a coma and a girl pretending to be his fiancee.

Previously:This Movie Is The Best Movie: Valley Girl

This Week on HelloGiggles

3 Mar

This week, I wrote about a book that was honestly just flawless. Why We Broke Up by Daniel Handler (art by Maira Kalman) was honest and funny about my favorite subject: love. Things got REAL EMOTIONAL.

Why We Broke Up reminded me a lot of my silly first “relationship.” Sometime I’ll write The Story of My First Boyfriend for you guys…let me tell you right now, it is a story full of danger, renaissance fairs, and eating at a lot of chain restaurants. It was honestly one of the most ridiculous things I’ve ever done in my life, but it was also one of the most fun things, too. And kind of a hilarious story.

A Great Way To Spend Some Time

16 Jan

For some reason, I’m kind of obsessed with Robin Thicke and Paula Patton’s relationship. They’re like my Jay-Z and Beyonce. Did you guys know they met in high school? And they’re still together? And he puts her in his videos/on the covers of his albums? I’m pretty sure Paula Patton might be in the running for title of Most Beautiful Woman in The World because, seriously, have you looked at her lately? I know I’m asking you a lot of questions. Sorry. So anyway, she’s insanely beautiful, and I think Robin Thicke is attractive but I’m not totally sure because every time I look at him I just see his dad.

If you’d like to look at a photogallery of Robin Thicke and Paula Patton, here you go, feel free to die of adorableness. Also, here’s his video for Love After War, in which Paula Patton refuses to ever wear pants and I start to feel uncomfortable because this is basically softcore porn.

Lady Jam: I’m His Girl, Friends

12 Dec

I wish I could stop listening to this song, but I can’t. Even when I’m not actually listening to it, the song’s odd cadence repeats in my head.

I’ve been hearing this on XMU a lot, so I guess it’s popular, but I’m incredibly out of touch with music. “You guys want to listen to this Dolly Parton album?” -me. Anyway, good luck getting this out of your head. In addition to being catchy as all get out, it’s also an ode to healthy relationships. Listening to Friends is basically like watching Dr. Phil.

Christmas Jam: Christmas in Hollis, Run-DMC

7 Dec

Today’s Christmas Jam has some sentimental value to me because it has my boyfriend’s name in the title. Although Run-DMC aren’t actually talking about my boyfriend, you can pretend that they are. I think this is a really romantic song to post on our 6th anniversary, right?

Old Loves

6 Dec

I’ve become obsessed with the tumblr Old Love, which is exactly what it sounds like…pictures of (mostly) celebrities with their old loves. I’ve already learned a lot about romances I never knew existed. These images are some of my favorites, and they’re all equally important to me.

Just An Observation

23 Sep

I think if you decide to stick with one man for the rest of your life, you just have to be prepared for him to bloat. Observe James Spader. How did this:

Turn into this:

I literally do not even want to know what’s going to happen to Ryan Gosling.

An Open Letter to the Ex-Boyfriend Who Said, “I Hope In 5 Years We Can Be Friends” When He Dumped Me

7 Aug

It’s been more than 5 years, why aren’t we bros??

(Just kidding, I looked you up on facebook and it kind of seems like you’re an alcoholic)

Comedienne Extraordinaire: Chelsea Peretti

1 Aug

Here’s yet another reason why Chelsea Peretti is my favorite comedian.

Duckie vs. Blaine: An Exhaustive Study of Pretty in Pink

28 Jul

Pretty in Pink is, on the surface, a love story between Andie and Blaine, with Duckie hanging out on the side like some sort of bolo-wearing third wheel. The thing is, as much as I love this movie (so much), I have to admit that Andie and Blaine are kind of boring.

If I had to describe Andie, I don’t know that I could. There aren’t many things she is; instead, she’s defined by what she isn’t. She isn’t cool. She isn’t rich. She isn’t dressed like the other girls. In essence, she’s every girl seeing this movie. If a girl was cool, rich, and well-dressed, she was probably at some cool, rich, well-dressed party, not watching Pretty in Pink. Andie is a blank slate of an outcast. By not being a defined character, she allows us to project our own inadequacies and desires onto the story.

And that’s where Blaine comes in. In the words of philosophers the Backstreet Boys, it doesn’t matter who he is, where he’s from, or what he did. Andie’s going to like him because he likes her. He’s reasonably nice, he has a killer smile, and he’s well-liked, but that’s not the point. The point is he’s pursuing her, and no one else has ever done that before. Do you remember the first guy who liked you? Really liked you? The first guy who asked you out, cared what you said, thought you were interesting and funny and smart? Do you remember how magical that seemed, that someone could like you, the weirdo, the loser, the strange one? Blaine isn’t a person, he’s a promise. He’s validation to Andie, in-the-flesh proof that a normal guy with a flawless smile can fall for her. She’s not so alone after all.

Duckie, however, is the opposite of Blaine. Not just a concept, he’s a fully realized character (although his sans-Andie troubled home life is only hinted at). He’s flamboyant, funny (his diatribe against the state of modern love songs in Andie’s car is so charmingly silly, it still makes me laugh), and overwhelmingly, heartbreakingly in love with Andie. You can buy a t-shirt bearing the slogan “I Would’ve Picked Duckie.” That’s how upset people still are over the perceived miscarriage of justice that is Andie and Blaine. And, to be certain, in high school I would’ve chosen Duckie as well. I still might. Wouldn’t it be good to be with a guy who makes no bones about the fact that he finds you simply fabulous? A guy who wants nothing more out of life than to admire you day after day after day? Pardon me if my insecurity is showing, but that’s kind of my fantasy.

I don’t think it’s Andie’s. While she’s ashamed of her poverty, she’s not ashamed of herself. She doesn’t find it unbelievable that Blaine would like her. I don’t think she wants or needs the 24/7 adoration that Duckie provides. What’s more, it’s clear that she’s just not into him romantically. She sighs at his messages, rolls her eyes when he talks, and kind of leads him on a bit (remember the neck petting scene when they’re studying in her room? Surely I can’t be the only who thought that was strange!). It’s all of this that makes Duckie’s climactic speech, right before Andie’s date with Blaine, all the more upsetting.

Duckie: He’s gonna use your ass and throw you away. God, I would have died for you! You can’t do this and respect yourself.

Andie: You’re saying that just because I’m going out with Blaine.

Duckie: Blaine? His name is Blaine? That’s…that’s a major appliance! That’s not a name!

Andie: Just because I’m going out with Blaine doesn’t mean I can’t be your friend. It doesn’t change how I feel about you.

Duckie: That’s very nice. I’m glad. Here’s the point, Andie. I’m not particularly concerned with whether or not you like me. ‘Cause I live to like you, and…I can’t like you any more.So when you get your heart splattered all over hell and you feel low, and dirty, don’t look to me to help pump you back up,’cause…’cause maybe for the first time
in your life, I won’t be there.

Of course he would’ve died for her. His devotion is so complete that I don’t think he’s being hyperbolic. As strongly as he feels, none of it matters. As much as she should’ve liked him, she didn’t.

I’m glad Andie ended up with Blaine at the end because it represents a high school fantasy far more romantic than ending up with someone you don’t love. Say what you will about Blaine, but when he emotionlessly mutters things like, “If I was in a Turkish prison, I’d have a great time with you,” or “Would you feel any better if I asked you to Prom?” or “I love you. Always,” I feel the exact same heart-flutterings I felt at 16. I mean, these are some adult things to say. As adorable as it is when Duckie says, “This is a really volcanic ensemble,” Blaine’s speaking like a man. A man who’s going after what he wants, which, ultimately, is pretty attractive to most women, whether they’re 17 or 27.

I think Andie and Blaine probably try to make it work after high school. He goes to Princeton or Yale, while she attends community college for a year so she can live at home and save money. He pays for her to fly out to see him on the weekends, but the strain gets to be too much and they break up. Andie eventually ends up at Emerson or NYU and meets a guy who runs an underground music zine. Things are weird with Duckie for awhile, but they’re friends for life. Blaine ends up marrying a lady named Barb. Oh, and Andie’s dad gets a job. FINALLY.